Hello, it’s me world

As the headline suggests, this is my first hurrah on the internet. So, hello. We shall see how this goes with days to come. Hopefully, this is going to be something remarkable. Something that people will marvel at for generations to come. Something that will be taught in schools as an example of outrageous entrepreneurship and out-of-this-world wit and philosophic originality. Something that will define twenty-first-century society. Or maybe I will get two subscribers and lose my voice in the abyss of online hubbub.

Anyway.

One could say that this is a social experiment. One could also say that it’s not. One can say a lot of things, it really just depends on what’s on your mind. Maybe you’re just thinking about mechanical toothbrushes or bobsledding. Or minced meats. But one could say that those are pointless things to think about… when you could also be thinking about this blog.

This blog will be many things. Too many things. It will have so much wisdom and laughter and poignance and creativity and so many references to goats tucked and crammed in its sleeves that it’ll be able to sell its sleeves for a fat price because of how impressive an amount of stuff one can fit in them. And sleeves that can fit blogs are in surprisingly high demand nowadays.

I don’t know you. Yet. That’s why I said “Hello” and followed it with the vague term “world,” instead of “you.” Keeping things vague is quite advantageous to the first moments of genuine connection. For example, my greeting might or mayhaps serve one or many possible entries of earthly specimens that might or mayhaps not or nay understand or condemn the English language in methods, strategies, or bank heists that root and/or uproot shallow and deep friendly enmity… I feel like we just bonded.

This is my step of faith into the UNKNOWNNNNNN. (Sorry, I’m listening to someone listening to Frozen 2 right now.) It’s my journey into the borderless internet-y world where people like “you” ponder minced meats and cats with celebrated deformities in the shape of permanent frowns. We’ll see how it goes.

Now here’s a thoughtful tagline to make you want to revisit this site: Have you ever experienced mild discomfort? Have you ever had breakfast before? Have you ever opened your eyes? Then this is the place for you.

Perfect. Now you’re hooked.

See you around “world.”